TRANSFERENCE AND PARALLEL PROCESS IN COACHING
A short explanation of what this means and how it might show up in coaching.
Transference in Coaching
Transference happens when a client unconsciously reacts to their coach as if the coach were someone important from their past such as a parent, teacher, sibling, or former boss.
For example, a client might:
- Worry excessively about “disappointing” the coach
- Seek approval in the same way they did with a parent
- Become defensive, as they once did with a critical authority figureList item one
These reactions aren’t really about the coach; they're patterns formed earlier in life that get replayed in the coaching relationship.
In coaching, noticing transference can be powerful. It helps clients see long-standing patterns in real time and choose new, more effective ways of responding.
Parallel Process in Coaching
A parallel process happens when patterns that show up in a client’s life also show up in the coaching relationship.
For example:
- A client who struggles with authority may subtly resist the coach’s suggestions.
- A client who avoids conflict at work may avoid difficult conversations with the coach.
- A client who over-functions in teams may try to “manage” the coaching sessions.
In other words, how someone shows up in coaching often mirrors how they show up elsewhere. This is useful because the coaching relationship becomes a safe place to notice, explore, and shift those patterns rather than just talking about them abstractly.
